Goodbye Days
by phantomhive-yuuki
Summary: You’ll forever live in my memory, even after death; I love you Allen. AllenXLenalee


**Good-bye Days**

_I found this fic somewhere in my files when I was deleting some craps; who knew I wrote this almost a year ago? *awesome* *laughs* I was supposed to be studying right now but I can't study anymore, my head feels like it's going to explode *boom*. _

_Okay as I reread this, I found out that I wrote this based on the song of the Japanese singer __**YUI **__entitled __**Good-bye Days**__. If you don't know her, well she sang one of the opening song for the anime __**Bleach (Rolling Star)**__ and the ending song for the same anime __**(LIFE)**_**,**_ and the first opening song for the anime __**Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood (Again)**__. And after I finished reading it, I noticed that it was somewhat similar to the movie __**Taiyou No Uta**__, so maybe I was inspired by that movie as well._

_I made some revising (only a few), because I saw a lot of wrong grammars in it *lol* _

_And please forgive me if this story is dull, boring and… *thinks* dull, I wrote this almost a year ago; most probably out of boredom (can't remember), and I never expected you; the readers would like it. So if you didn't like it, just keep it to yourself… Thank you! _

_**Disclaimer: **__I own nothing._

* * *

Almost every day, I walk the same road as you; but you never noticed me. We live in the same city, same street; I wanted to greet you, but my shyness always overpowers me.

After the sun has set, I always sat at ledge of my bedroom window.

There I see you inside your room. So serious all time, almost every day I see you sitting at your study table always reading. I want to know what you're reading about, even if it is about school.

Before, on the way to school; the street with a line of trees at both sides, I see you. Even if I go home late from school; we still cross paths, it is as if fate is making us meet. From a far, I can see the details on your face; you always look so cheerful even when it is obvious that you're exhausted. Whether you are wearing your school uniform or just a plain shirt and pants, I can't help but to always be mesmerised by you.

Even when it rained or the sun shone you always walk ahead; looking nowhere but in front, I can't help but to get curious all of the time. I never wanted anything else but to know who you are.

_So now, I'm going to meet you_

_that's what I've decided_

_this song in my pocket_

_I want you to hear it_

_softly raising the volume_

_I've already tried and made sure_

Singing and playing the guitar has been my life-long passion, even before I first laid my eyes on you it always cheer me up. Ever since I'm little, only my brother looks after me because our parents died when I was just an infant.

Composing songs has been what I'm doing most of the time; from the poems I write, I add music to it and there I have it. I'll admit it is not easy to do, but I guess my will and passion is the one helping me to do what I want to do.

I'm dedicating this song to you and only you; this is how I feel and I want you to hear this.

_oh Good-bye days, now_

_there's a feeling of change_

_up until yesterday, so long_

_because there's an uncool kindness beside me_

_lalalalalala with you_

My whole world collapsed when I found out that my life is almost its end.

My brother and I found out that I have cancer; and it was already in stage four so the doctor said that any therapy and treatments this late isn't going to stop the cancer cells from spreading. So that did explain why I'm always feeling tired and having fever every week.

I'm scared. I don't want to die yet.

After we discovered that I have cancer, I dropped out of school and stayed lock-up at home. Even my older brother stayed at home most of the time. He didn't want to leave me alone.

Am I going to die without even knowing you?

I told brother everything, about how I always admire you from a far; right at that moment I could see tears forming from the sides of his eyes, he hugged me so tight that I could hardly breathe. He told me that he'll helped me out, I was nervous but if I want to I could do it right?

_I hand the other earphone to you_

_it flows slowly_

_this moment_

_are you loving well?_

_even though you lose your way sometimes_

While brother was at work, it was early morning about 7am. I was sitting on our carpeted floor with my acoustic guitar at hand, as always I sing my heart out. I don't care if our neighbours could hear me or not, all that is important to me is I'm letting all out of my despair.

Everyone fears of death, even I; they say when you get caught there is no turning back. I was given a year to live and now I'm on my third month.

The door bell rang; I got startled all of the sudden that I've almost dropped my guitar good thing I got a good grip. I stood up and made my way to the door, I opened it slowly and peeked a little and I saw something that I couldn't even imagine.

White hair, a scar running through the left side of his face, a masculine structure, it was him! I couldn't even believe that I was awake. Out of instinct, I shut the door as quickly as I can and leaned my back in the door. I'm so shocked.

I heard a muffle outside, most probably it was him confused of my sudden behaviour. I shook my head and stood up once again; I opened the door and went face to face with him.

From where I was standing, I was completely dumb founded, I didn't know what to do. After an ear defining silence, he started to talk. He told me sorry about disturbing me all of the sudden and asked me if I was the one singing.

Oh dear, I guess I was singing _too loud_.

In response I just nodded my head. I could feel my face getting warmer and my heart beating faster, what is this feeling?

He said that it was so good, my singing and the music as well. It was like of a professional. He again asked if he could hear it, he really wanted to hear it again so badly. I don't know if I say yes or no, but what the heck this is just my only chance to talk to him. I guess this is the chance I have been waiting for. I finally agree and told him that I could sing at bench at our backyard (since brother told me not to let anyone else in).

And there we sat neither near nor far from one another.

I positioned the guitar and started to strum the strings, after the short instrumental I started to sing. Like always, I close my eyed whenever I'm singing; enjoying the music, imagining images at my head and not letting anything distract me, not even him. But still I could feel his gaze focused onto my face.

_oh Good-bye days, now_

_the heart that started to change, alright_

_because there's an uncool kindness beside me_

_~with you_

After that incident, he started to always hang-out at our place. Even during school days, he always goes every afternoon. Brother didn't have any problem with him, as long as we stay at the living room with him eyeing every minute.

This may sound crazy but brother has this so-called _sister-complex_, he's way too over-protective. Well that is understandable considering that I'm all that he has, and now my life is slowly ticking away.

From being just total strangers with one another, now we can be called friends now. I'm so happy I could hardly express it. My dream of knowing him more has finally come true; and all in all I'm satisfied.

He too knows about my condition, and I saw him so shocked as if he saw a ghost. He was speechless all of the sudden, I saw in his eyes sadness and fear. I couldn't picture out more out of his reactions, all that I can see that he have never expected this.

The two of us were seating at carpeted floor at the living room, brother was at the kitchen preparing snacks for us when I suddenly found myself being embraced by him. I got startled by his sudden action, I wanted him to let go but he didn't, his grip got tighter and I felt his head rested on top of mine.

Time has frozen, and I didn't know how long we stayed like that, all that I know that he didn't want to let go.

At that very moment, my heart beat so hard and so fast. What am I feeling? I can't explain it.

_if possible, I'd want to_

_not think any sad thoughts_

_but you'll show up, right?_

_that time, with a smile_

_even if you could say something like,_

"_Yeah hello!! my friend"_

_that'd be nice_

I didn't want to expect anything, but my heart is really longing for something else.

Is this love? I can't love now, just four more months I'll pass away. I don't want to get hurt. I'm afraid to get hurt. So I have to stay our relationship to as friends, nothing more.

At this time, my body is definitely getting weaker and weaker every day. I'm always at bed now, I can't stand up on my own, and my end is really near. Now I'm really afraid.

He is always by side; he sometimes sleeps over because he too was afraid. Afraid of losing me. I knew where this was going to, and said it to him straight forwardly without any hesitations. He then answered me straight forwardly as well, he said he doesn't care he loves me so much that he doesn't want to let me go no matter what.

What's the point of denying when it is obvious that I love him too? I guess if I'll be hurt in the final moment, I don't care I'll try my best to be happy at the final moments of my life; nobody even death can do anything about it.

_when we're humming the same song_

_be next to me, I wish_

_I'm glad I met_

_an uncool kindness_

In the final month of my life, I was already paralyzed from my hips down to my feet so I always lie down the bed. He was always there at my side, holding my hand kissing it from time to time.

Whenever I cry in pain, he always look so hurt, he couldn't stand seeing me suffering like this. I refused to drink any pain killers at this point so I always bear with this pain. I want this suffering to end but at the same time I don't want to. I'm afraid that after I die he couldn't go on, he couldn't live without me. I must do something, but what?

I told him about this, all that he said that he will never move on; but time could heal him, maybe he could love again but he can't. I saw it in his eyes, he really loves me and it pains me to imagine him suffering from my death.

_lalalalalala_

…_goodbye days_

At last, after a year of excruciating pain and suffering, I have finally rested in peace.

I wonder how he is now.

I hope he has moved on, and found a new love.

You'll forever live in my memory, even after death; I love you Allen.

* * *

_Thank for the time and effort of reading this really old story of mine._

_Reviews are welcome, but if it is about this story about being dull and boring, I guess it can't be helped, I'll just let it be._


End file.
